Monday, April 23, 2012

my little milk man

It's the little moments I cherish the most.. Lucas learning to hold his bottle all by himself.. The way he would follow me into the kitchen and light up when he saw me filling his cup up with milk. A particular moment during our last weeks together... He had always been a daddy's boy. Daddy stayed home with him every day while mommy had to go to work and leave him all day long. But during the last weeks.. There was one week where I didn't see him at all, where he was being kept from me. After a visit to court the status quo was reestablished, and I finally got to pick him up from daycare and see him after a hellish week spent apart. He seemed so happy to see me, I could tell he knew me and had missed me. I was so afraid he wouldn't care that he hadn't seen me, or that he would have forgotten me, but he didn't. I remember bringing him home that night and sitting down on the floor near him while he played with his legos. He got up and walked over and plopped right down into my lap.. That was something he always did with his dad, never with me. But he just sat down in my lap and continued to play, ignoring me completely for the most part.. He just wanted to be close to me. I think of that moment often, it's one of the memories that comes to me most frequently. I'm glad I have moments like that.. Moments he and I shared together, happy memories that fill my heart with love.. But I'll be damned if it doesn't rip my heart out even as it's filling it up. What I wouldn't give for one more moment like that.. I miss my baby.

No comments:

Post a Comment